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  • I want YOU in my X-Com squad

    So, here's a thing I thought I'd do, just for kicks:

    Like all right-thinking people across the world, I'm gonna be playing the hell out of X-Com as soon as it unlocks on my Steam account, which is going to happen in a couple of days.

    I figured I'd make it more fun and name some of the characters after you guys -- your real name, your forum username, your Twitter handle, or whatever, your choice. To be clear: I'm posting this on our forum because that's the convenient way for me to do it, but this is open to everybody on the internet.

    Because I can't do this for everybody (I'll probably have to cap this at six at a time, since that's how many soldiers I can take on a single mission), I need a way to limit the number of recruits to something manageable. Therefore, I will be accepting submissions from people for this.

    So, here's what I'm looking for: Make me laugh. Tell me something cool. The things that I find the funniest, or most interesting, or just most memorable, get first preference. Could be a story, could be a link to something. Hell, could be a bribe. For this thing, which I am doing on my own time and just for shits and giggles, I am completely corruptible. So why should I pick you for humanity's last line of defense? Let me know!

    However, be advised that if I pick you, whatever it is you send me, I will be posting it to this thread at the same time as I announce who my brave soldiers are going to be so others know why I picked you. (Also, let me know if you want to be a girl soldier or a boy soldier, because I can customize that, as well as some other aspects of the character's appearance.)

    In this thread, I'll keep you posted on how these brave, brave individuals do -- what they get up to, whether they live or die. There will be action. There will be drama. There might be romance. Who knows? We'll see how it plays out. I'll promise to try to keep them alive the best I can, but, you know, the mission must come first, and this is X-Com -- you know not everybody's gonna make it. I'll get some screenshots online; maybe even video, if I start to feel like I really have to complicate my life far more than I should.

    If/when the characters die, I'll go back to the pool of potential recruits and move on to the next candidate. I can't tell you how often I'll post updates, it really depends on, you know, how often I get a chance to play, but I'll do my best to make it all the way to the end, whether this ends in victory over the insidious alien hordes, or in bitter defeat, with the Earth in ashes.

    To submit, you can PM me, or simply e-mail me at mikkirmdxcom@gmail.com. (Please don't e-mail me at my work address about this -- I'm kinda trying to keep this separate from, y'know, the actual job. =)) Please DON'T post any submissions to this thread -- I have no way of knowing how many of them I'm going to get, and on the off chance that I get a ton of them (this being the internet, you never can tell), I'd rather not have this thread get flooded. (Other posts and discussion about this are quite welcome!)

    Hop to it, people. The Earth needs us.



    Edit: Oh, crap, I screwed up the e-mail address. It's correct now. Sorry about that. SHUT UP I'M A COMPETENT MILITARY COMMANDER
    Last edited by MikkiRMD; 10-10-2012, 02:22 PM.
    Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

  • #2
    Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

    I have a bunch of submissions, but there's room for more. Keep them coming; I won't pick the first six until I can actually start playing the game!
    Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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    • #3
      Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

      Originally posted by MikkiRMD View Post
      I have a bunch of submissions, but there's room for more.
      More!? Just how many are you planning to sacrifice?
      Remember that you do have to equip us with guns before deployment!
      Remedy's currently known projects:
      Quantum Break - 2016

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

        Originally posted by MikkiRMD
        I have a bunch of submissions, but there's room for more.
        Oh God! I've made a huge mistake!
        I don't wanna be buried in a pet cemetary

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

          Originally posted by Morry View Post
          More!? Just how many are you planning to sacrifice?
          Remember that you do have to equip us with guns before deployment!
          I want a good bunch of recruits to choose from, and anyway, assuming that old X-Com magic is still there, I figure at least one of the original six -- whoever they might end up being, I don't know yet, exactly -- won't even make it past mission one. =)
          Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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          • #6
            Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

            "This game will unlock in approximately 15 hours." That'd be about 3am, my time. I'm probably not gonna be able to kick this thing off until Friday evening. =)
            Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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            • #7
              Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

              How much for a clone?
              Remedy's currently known projects:
              Quantum Break - 2016

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                I think it'll be one character per person, unless I run out of recruits. =)
                Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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                • #9
                  Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                  I just spent 10 hrs in Classic Ironman and killed off 30 soldiers....

                  And GOT WIPED. All started going wrong once the mutons turned up...

                  Oh well I loved it! Feels just like the original having to learn from your mistakes.
                  Sarah Breaker > Barry Wheeler. Yep, I went there!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                    Mikki you're going into my 2nd game...

                    Heavy
                    Name: Mikki 'Pinky' RMD
                    Armour: Hot pink.
                    Sarah Breaker > Barry Wheeler. Yep, I went there!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                      Glorious!
                      Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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                      • #12
                        Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                        Okay, people, it's X-Com time! Here's my initial squad of people:


                        Morry

                        Morry said he'd send me a Danger 5 DVD. Bribery works! He's on the team.

                        To be clear, though, that ain't gonna guarantee he actually stays on the team. To quote the Soviet Union's esteemed Ambassador to the United States, Ivan Drago, "if he dies, he dies."


                        Kitt

                        Kitt sent me a link to this. As much as I enjoy spastic bears, that didn't quite do it for me, but she also included the link to this, which made me just laugh and laugh and laugh, so she's in. (Yes. I'm kinda easy.)

                        "Don't even think you can deny how fabulous a soldier I'd be," she added. She's right, I can't. I just can't.


                        Pickman

                        I'm not quite sure why I picked Pickman, except there was something about him that screamed "pick me, pick me!" He sent me this:

                        I guarantee you, the soldier with my name Pickman. Will start rambling about the poetic meaning of the lonely soupcan on the park bench. While others are fighting the aliens on the background.

                        Pack Chocolate bars, instead of ammo clips for the missions. Make gun noises with my mouth ( because I don't have ammo). My grenade is a made of wood and painted to look like a grenade, because I lost my grenade.

                        Returns to look at the soupcan, and theorise it's meaning. Wanders of into distance mumbling about the soupcan and becoming M.I.A.


                        I think we need somebody who's absolutely, hopelessly deranged on the squad, so Pickman's definitely got that spot. I can only hope he's overestimating his lack of preparedness, or he's going to have a pretty damn short career, but we'll see!


                        Jaden

                        Jaden's own words:

                        I'm not going to lie, characters with my name often ends up dead within the first five minutes. Or they walk into an enemy attack, holding the weapon the wrong way, while loudly asking who the enemy is. While I would make a terrible solider...

                        ...I hear you accept bribes (see attached)

                        In other words "Oh look distracting thingy!"


                        Okay, by her own admission, she's a terrible soldier, buuuuut, on the other hand... Barney the dinosaur's mentally disabled cousin, with a fez on, blocking a phaser blast from the USS Enterprise with a lightsaber?

                        Welcome to the squad. Clearly, that's the kind of thing that'll help us beat the aliens.


                        Rob Tinkezione

                        Looking at the group this far, I think it's obvious that we need to get someone vaguely competent in, which is why I'm going with Tinkezione. In his own words:

                        I'm writing this from this goddamn shithole I recall being called the Crown of Scania. Yesterday evening something came down from the sky and as need-to-know-basis as everything is, we were sent to investigate. It turned out that a gigantic aircraft, or what the hell do I know what it is crashlanded dangerously close to the nuclear power plant just a few kilometers north of Malmo, you know the place them other vikings in Dkenmardk(?) did not like when it was built, even though it was built on Swedish soil. Whiners, I say! It was twilight when we rushed in, pretty much without knowing what's going on. I was on the second team right flank and half of us literally peed ourselves when we heard what happened to the A team quite soon after they disappeared inside the exposed bulkhead. First individual gunshots, then burst fire, then chaotic screaming, more burst fire, which slowly faded off, as if the whole team would have just been ripped apart, one by one. Pigs being slaughtered made less terrifying noises in my childhood, for what I recall from the farm I grew up at. One soldier from our team broke off, apparently to save the other team members and disappeared without a sound after entering the bulkhead and I'm not too positive about what may have happened to him.

                        We dug in for a while to scout what's going on, and of all things those Swedes - them guys I think you Finns remember the best as World War two deserters had decided to keep whatever is in here out of their city. They brought an army to lock us in with this thing that fell from the sky, them bastards. We didn't have any other choice but dig ourselves inside the nuclear plant. The ongoing chaos has made the workers abandon the plant and it's been silent now for a couple of days. Not more than that, according to the lack of chaos on the streets, I think people will get angry within 3-4 days, maybe within a week if things go wrong...talk about shortcomings of the modern society. Anyway, we're dug in the nuclear plant and that does not make us feel any more comfortable. We hear noises from the outside on the night time and two of the remaining seven soldiers in this team that have gone investigating haven't come back, the other one was sent to the shoreline to see if there is a sneaky way out of this and the other one went to investigate the gates and Swedish army blockade. Battery is dying, I'll try to reach a couple of more people before it dies. Think I'll try to scout a bit today evening although I don't really like what's out there, talk to you later.

                        //rob


                        Also, Tinke used to work at Remedy as our QA guy until he defected to Sweden and went to work for Ubisoft Massive, where he is currently working on, and I quote from his Facebook profile, "some damn cool shit."


                        Kalle Kaivola

                        And, finally, my good friend Kalle Kaivola, who is bribing me with hamburgers. Incidentally, he's also the Director of Development at Rovio, and while I haven't started the game up yet, I will do my best to make sure his character's face, or failing that, his armor, is as Angry Birdlike as I can possibly make it.

                        I hope he dies first, and I hope it takes a while... Nah, he's a great guy!

                        Seriously, I hope it's horribly painful.


                        So! That's the gang I'm going to start off with. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. When there are casualties, or if I need to send new guys into the field because these are recovering from wounds or something, I will pick new recruits from my pool...

                        ...and seriously, that will happen! While I will make every effort to keep these guys alive, one of the rules I've set for myself is that I'm not allowed to get into that horrible "no, I gotta load my saved game because this mission didn't go perfectly" spiral, so there's a real good chance the first slots open up right after the first mission.

                        So, by all means, keep those submissions coming in!

                        I'll keep you posted on how things proceed.
                        Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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                        • #13
                          Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                          Oh, look, there's an Ironman option, meaning that I can't load a previous save even if I want to -- anything I do, I'm completely stuck with that.

                          That's amazingly appropriate for what I'm doing, so I'm gonna go with the Normal difficulty, with Ironman on.
                          Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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                          • #14
                            Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                            Okay, here we go, but let me just get a couple of things out of the way before I begin: yeah, you can have six guys on a mission, but you need to upgrade a few things first. In the beginning, you can have only four. So not everybody got on the first mission, unfortunately, and it begins before you can do any customization. Since it has two men and two women as your squad, the women were pretty much decided by default, and I picked the guys at random.

                            Also, I cannot change the flags on the characters, that's not one of the customization options -- so I know they're going to be wrong for some of the people. No big deal, but just so that you know, that's not me dissing you or anything.

                            FROM THE X-COM COMMANDER'S DESK: AFTER ACTION REPORT #1

                            Mission location: Paris
                            Mission name: IT'S A SECRET (also, I forgot to write it down)

                            Squad members: Morry, Jaden, Rob Tinkezione, Kitt


                            [TRANSCRIPT FROM SKYRANGER PASSENGER COMPARTMENT MICROPHONE]

                            Pickman: Sometimes I look at birds, and I think, what's that bird thinking about? And the bird could be thinking about anything. About flying, maybe, or eating worms. What do birds think about? They aren't very smart, or maybe they just pretend to be stupid. Who knows? But then I think it could be a mechanical bird, and that wouldn't be thinking at all, it's just that I wouldn't know the difference. Because I don't know if there's a brain in there or just some kind of a clockwork that makes it move like a bird even though it's just an automaton.

                            Tinkezione: Uh-huh, yep. That's really fascinating.

                            Pickman: Sometimes I think I should open the bird's head up and see what's in there, brain or gears. But if it's a real bird, then it's murder. It's only all right to cut into its head if it's not a real bird. But how can you tell before you cut? I don't want to hurt any birds. I don't want to hurt anybody.

                            Morry: Um.

                            Kitt: Well, that's great. That, you know. That you don't want to hurt anybody.

                            Pickman: We're flying now, but we're not inside a bird.

                            Morry: ...should this guy be in here with us?

                            Tinkezione: Aw, put a rifle in his hand and throw him out there, he'll snap right out of it.

                            Pickman (whispers): Bang bang bang bang bang. Somebody got hurt.

                            Tinkezione: Uh, X-Com Central? Can we get, I don't know, Jaden instead? I'm not sure this is a good day to give Pickman a gun.

                            Pickman: I agree.

                            [TRANSCRIPT ENDS.]


                            The squad set down without incident. Tasked with searching and eliminating any and all extraterrestial combatants in the area, they started to move ahead through the streets slowly and carefully. The torrential downpour was more than the city's sewers could handle, and water ran freely down the streets, coming up to the shins. The rain also reduced visibility to mush. So, you know, good times!

                            Moving from cover to cover, the squad went slowly, checking corners, making sure they were clear before moving on. The atmosphere was tense. This was the first time they were in the field together. No one had ever faced an alien invader before and lived to tell the tale.

                            Of course, they didn't get far before they ran into four Sectoids. Lots of panicky firing. Somebody may have pooped their pants. Rookies, you know. It's just how it goes.

                            And Kitt got shot up pretty badly. She saw the bad guys, moved up closer, took a shot, missed, and then they returned fire. Refreshing plasma in the face? That'll hurt the coming winter!

                            For a while there I was sure she'd die, because she was outnumbered, but luckily, there were only four of them in total, and I managed to get all of the bad guys before she got hit again. Morry got one, Rob Tinkezione managed to bag four. Kitt didn't hit anybody, but what with being wounded, she gets a pass on that. Jaden let plenty of rounds fly, but despite a fairly impressive display of indiscriminate autofire, she only managed to wing one of the bad guys a little bit. Maybe she was just distracted by her own armor, which I have made just about as pink/purple as it can be, just because of that Barney picture. Still, at least she made a lot of noise and raised the insurance premiums of Parisians everywhere, so there's that.

                            Kitt'll need to spend some time healing up, so I've got Pickman lined up to take her place for the next mission.

                            [TRANSCRIPT FROM SKYRANGER PASSENGER COMPARTMENT MICROPHONE]

                            Kitt: Can we take off yet?

                            Morry: Oh, man! The way you mowed them down--

                            Tinkezione: I know!

                            Kitt: Seriously, guys, this really hurts.

                            Morry: And then she was like--

                            Tinkezione: [imitates a machine gun]

                            Morry: All the windows!

                            Jaden: Hey, at least I wounded one of the bad guys.

                            Morry: It was a great shot.

                            Jaden: It was an okay shot. Your shot was great, Morry. Boom, his gray ass went down!

                            Tinkezione: Man, all that water, though. My boots are soaking wet.

                            Kitt: I was in the water for like a half an hour.

                            Jaden: Yeah, and all that sewage? Jesus, Paris isn't too romantic when the sewers overflow.

                            Morry: Who knew, right?

                            Kitt: I almost drowned. Because I fell down and I couldn't move my legs. Because I was shot. It was freezing and I think I'm still losing blood.

                            Jaden: You guys were great.

                            Morry: No, you were great.

                            Kitt: The blood is coming from this hole that plasma bolt made in me. I had to fight off a rat with my bare hands. It was trying to build a nest in there.

                            Jaden: No, c'mon, you were great.

                            Morry: No, you were.

                            Jaden: No, you were.

                            Kitt: Can we take off and go to the hospital yet?

                            Tinkezione: Hey, hey, hey, you know what? We're all great.

                            Jaden: Aww.

                            Morry: I love being friends with you guys. You're so cool and fun to hang out with.

                            Tinkezione: Group hug!

                            Kitt: Oh God, I think my pancreas just plopped out of the hole.

                            [TRANSCRIPT ENDS.]



                            So this is where we stand after the first mission:

                            Squaddie Rob Tinkezione: 3 kills. Assigned to be a Heavy.
                            Squaddie Morry: 1 kill. Assigned to be a Sniper.
                            Rookie Jaden: No kills.
                            Rookie Kitt: No kills. Wounded; estimated 9 days until recovery.

                            New research started: Alien weapons
                            New manufacturing order: Medi-kits.

                            Probably not gonna do updates after every single mission, but since this was the first one, I wanted to get the ball rolling.
                            Last edited by MikkiRMD; 10-12-2012, 08:42 PM.
                            Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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                            • #15
                              Re: I want YOU in my X-Com squad

                              So, I did my second mission. Turns out I kinda had to report on this one.

                              FROM THE X-COM COMMANDER'S DESK: AFTER ACTION REPORT #2

                              Mission location: Rosario, Argentina
                              Mission name: OPERATION CRYPTIC SLEEP



                              Squad members: Morry, Jaden, Rob Tinkezione, Pickman


                              A construction site in Argentina. Alien abductions. Business as usual, right?

                              I had the other guys hang back, but I sent Jaden up ahead a little bit. There was a convenient cargo container there, and I thought if I could get her on top of it quickly, I'd have a good bird's-eye view of what was going on. I couldn't get up there in one round, but I could get her right next to it, so the next round she could climb up.

                              She made it to the corner. That was when she spotted the two Sectoids that were a little further up ahead, mostly shielded by an incomplete wall.

                              With a sinking feeling, I realized there wasn't anything I could do about it. I'd been stupid about it -- made as classic an X-Com mistake as there is, really; I got overconfident, and moved too far, too quickly. Now she was out there, unable to do anything to save herself.

                              I could move other characters up there, but they'd be just as exposed as she was, and because of the layout of the construction site, I couldn't really get at the Sectoids without exposing myself -- not in one round, anyway. I knew the enemies were there, but I couldn't get a shot at them.

                              The best I could do was move Pickman up next to her -- I could get him mostly into cover, so I was pretty sure he'd be safe, and at least he could shoot back... on the next round, anyway. Best case scenario, they'd miss her, and I could have Jaden and Pickman take care of both of the aliens. If they didn't get her, I could still turn this into a big win.

                              If they didn't get her.

                              So I made my moves, and then there was nothing I could do except see how it played out.

                              [TRANSCRIPT FROM TACTICAL COMMS]

                              Jaden: I'm in position. [pause] Oh, shit.

                              Tinkezione: Pull back, pull back.

                              Jaden: They see me.

                              Pickman: They have eyes! Eyes are good for seeing things.

                              Morry: Jaden, get out of there! Jesus Christ, move!

                              Jaden: I can't--

                              [static; Jaden screaming]

                              Pickman: No -- no gears! It's on me! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!

                              [TRANSCRIPT ENDS.]




                              They cut her down, the bastards. She went down, bright pink armor shattered by a burst of green fire.

                              The rest of it was pretty quick. Pickman got over his freak-out and, in a moment of admirable efficiency (perhaps motivated by the fact that Jaden died right next to him?), took down one of the Sectoids with his rifle. Morry sprayed one's brains all over a bare concrete wall. Tinkezione's LMG took out two.

                              And then it was done. Just four Sectoids again, that's all. I should've been able to take them without too much trouble, but I got greedy. Jaden paid the price.



                              Here's where I stand right now:

                              Squaddie Rob Tinkezione (Heavy): 5 kills (+2 since last count).
                              Squaddie Morry (Sniper): 2 kills (+1 since last count).
                              Squaddie Pickman: 1 kill. Assigned into Assault.
                              Rookie Kitt: No kills. Wounded; estimated 9 days until recovery.
                              Rookie Jaden: No kills. Killed in action.

                              Kitt's still out of it, so I'll have to get Kalle Kaivola into the action next -- and after that, I'll have to go back into the submissions...
                              Last edited by MikkiRMD; 10-13-2012, 11:42 AM. Reason: Fixed the image links.
                              Story Team Manager at Remedy. Like the occasional stupid remark? Follow me on Twitter: @MikkiRMD

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