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  • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

    I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

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    • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

      He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

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      • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

        Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because I mean come on, what is that thing.

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        • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

          If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off.

          You see, we build to that.

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          • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

            If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

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            • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

              You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

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              • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

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                • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                  When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

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                  • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                    This is from IRCquotes.. Translated from finnish into english, sorry for my bad english..


                    <Teixeira-> I think i haven't told you what my father said to a phoneseller (thos guys who sell magazines and stuff from telephones) about a year ago?
                    <Teixeira-> Well, i'll open
                    <Teixeira-> just came to my mind when my father was just playing Flight Simulator 2k4
                    <Teixeira-> So he was playing this a year ago and was all fired up landing to the Berlin airport, in the game. Then called the phoneseller, she asked "is this a bad time to call?", well he answers ''Well in fact yes, im just landing to the Berlin internatinoal airport, could you call later or it's going to rumble..!?"
                    <Teixeira-> The seller just said quickly
                    <Teixeira-> "Okey, sorry for interruption, bye! *tuuttuuttuut*"
                    <Teixeira-> My father said that she went into panic

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                    • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                      Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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                      • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                        The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

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                        • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                          Originally posted by Hiki
                          This is from IRCquotes.. Translated from finnish into english, sorry for my bad english..


                          <Teixeira-> I think i haven't told you what my father said to a phoneseller (thos guys who sell magazines and stuff from telephones) about a year ago?
                          <Teixeira-> Well, i'll open
                          <Teixeira-> just came to my mind when my father was just playing Flight Simulator 2k4
                          <Teixeira-> So he was playing this a year ago and was all fired up landing to the Berlin airport, in the game. Then called the phoneseller, she asked "is this a bad time to call?", well he answers ''Well in fact yes, im just landing to the Berlin internatinoal airport, could you call later or it's going to rumble..!?"
                          <Teixeira-> The seller just said quickly
                          <Teixeira-> "Okey, sorry for interruption, bye! *tuuttuuttuut*"
                          <Teixeira-> My father said that she went into panic

                          I don't get it. But I [SIZE=5]DO[/SIZE] think Finland is a pretty hilarious place if you ask me. I mean what's with all those tightropes? lol, honestly.

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                          • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                            Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

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                            • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                              If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

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                              • Re: 10000+ Post topic!

                                At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw **** you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

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