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My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!

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  • My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!

    Hey folks! This is GrumpyGamerlp!

    Have you ever been in a DEBATE on a gaming forum and realized the OTHER GUY was SMARTER than YOU? Do people on gaming forums FREQUENTLY make YOU feel like a RETARDED MONKEY? Do YOU often REALIZE you are WRONG but are too PROUD to admit it? Well, with GrumpyGamerLP’s SIMPLE guide to game forum debating, YOU TOO can WIN or at least DERAIL any debate so you won’t have to look so STUPID.

    First and foremost, you must ADMIT to YOURSELF that you have gotten in OVER YOUR HEAD. This is no longer about CHANGING the other guy’s VIEW. If you CONTINUE to debate at HIS LEVEL then he will make YOU look even more like a DUMB TURD. I’m going to TEACH you some SIMPLE techniques that YOU too can use to WIN or at least DERAIL any game forum debate.

    Technique 1:
    COMPLETELY IGNORE what the smart guy just wrote and find a TYPO. The other guy might use BIG words. The other guy might write CRAP that makes the Gettysburg Address look like a 5th grader’s class speech. NONE OF THAT MATTERS! The other guy is STUPID because his spell checker let him use the word “TO” with one “O” when he SHOULD HAVE used the word “TOO” with two “Os.”

    Technique 2:
    Learn to CHERRY PICK. The other guy may be 95% RIGHT. NONE OF THAT MATTERS EITHER! Find the WEAKEST point in the guy’s TEN paragraph rebuttal and FOCUS on it like a LASER BEAM. COMPLETELY IGNORE the other 9 paragraphs that make you look INBRED and HARP on that one paragraph like a nagging wife. If the other guy DEFENDS the one paragraph then you have successfully DERAILED the debate. The debate is NO LONGER ABOUT the ten paragraph rebuttal. The debate is about the one WEAK paragraph.

    Technique 3:
    CHANGE THE SUBJECT. It’s just that SIMPLE! Here’s an EXAMPLE. You SAY Doom is the best FPS game ever made. The other guy SAYS that Call of Duty: MW 2 is the best FPS game ever made. The other guy POINTS OUT that some gaming magazine gave Call of Duty a much HIGHER rating.

    You REPLY with something like this:

    “I USED to read gaming magazines when I was on the CAN pinching a LOAF. Now I like to SURF the web on my Android phone. I need a NEW phone though.”

    With any LUCK some SCHMUCK will come along behind you and post his recommendation on what kind of phone you should get. DEBATE SUCCESSFULLY DERAILED!

    Technique 4:
    Resort to a PERSONAL attack! This one can be TRICKY because this is FROWNED UPON on most forums. If you are SUBTLE about it and just IMPLY something then you can make the other guy lose it. You can make him look like an irrational JERK with a hot TEMPER. A hot-headed guy like that isn’t WORTH YOUR TIME. Take a CHILL PILL buddy!

    Technique 5:
    Two or three or four WRONGS do make a RIGHT. If you are a forum regular and the other guy is a NOOB then gang RAPE him. Get all of your forum buddies to ATTACK the other guy’s position. The other guy will try to rebut all of the posts and the entire thread will DEVOLVE into a mess of spaghetti. With any LUCK, the guy will SLIP UP and you can NAIL him with technique 1 or 2!

    Technique 6:
    Call the guy a TROLL!

    Technique 7:
    Use a STRAW MAN argument. This one is a little hard to EXPLAIN and is for more advanced students of mine. Here goes my EXPLANATION of a STRAW MAN argument in SIMPLE terms.

    1. The OTHER GUY makes an argument.
    2. You DISTORT or EXAGGERATE that argument.
    3. You ATTACK the DISTORTED argument instead of the ORIGINAL argument, CONCLUDING that the ORIGINAL argument is BUNK too.

    Here is an EXAMPLE:

    The other guy says, “piracy HURTS PC gaming.”

    You reply, “I am TIRED of people saying that PIRACY HURTS gaming or that it is going to DESTROY PC gaming. PIRACY has been around for decades and IF it hasn’t KILLED PC gaming yet then it isn’t going to. Do you have any other VALID points to make?”

    Do you see how we FLIPPED this? The guy only said that piracy HURTS gaming but we made it look like the other guy said piracy would lead to the DEMISE of PC gaming which most people would DISAGREE with.

    Please PAY ATTENTION to your audience with this technique. Intelligent and educated people will instantly see the STRAW MAN argument and it will BACKFIRE but if they are DUMB like us then WE can GET AWAY with it!
    My Youtube Let's Play channel:

  • #2
    Re: My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!

    All i will say is people who use there/they're/their and to/too wrong automatically lose any argument. Fact.


    • #3
      Re: My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!

      Funny and seems to be right!

      The anatomy of forum debates


      • #4
        Re: My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!

        TLDR: "how to be another jerk on the interwebs"

        PS. Most people don't care about winning [debates on the internet]*. They just come onto the internet to share ideas and discuss awesome stuff, and write bad metacritic reviews.

        *because it's not like you get a medal to proudly wear around like when you win a debate in real life. And the tactics at winning a debate in real life vs. the interwebs are to_ dissimilar. (would you kindly fill in the blanks?)
        Last edited by yogibbear; 07-12-2012, 01:20 AM.
        Sarah Breaker > Barry Wheeler. Yep, I went there!


        • #5
          Re: My foolproof guide to winning game forum debates!


          Remedy's currently known projects:
          Quantum Break - 2016